Dear Oblivious,
Despite popular belief, I think you're extremely talented. Not everyone has mastered standing in front of a toilet and landing urine on everything but the inside of the bowl. Some on the seat, some on the floor... I bet 'America's Got Talent' is looking for talents just like you.
Sarcasm aside for the moment, your indifference to others around you is quite clear. It doesn't seem you've considered the person after you who may need to sit down on that seat or the person tasked with cleaning up. Is it really that hard to lift the damn lid? Or heaven forbid, maybe clean up after yourself?
As a kid I watched Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers, and I sang along with puppets and characters who preached manners and taught us the alphabet. I went to preschool and kindergarten, where good behaviors were further encouraged through cooperative activity and positive reinforcement. I suppose you watched Sesame Street and came away jealous of Oscar because he got to live in a garbage can.
Take your head out of your ass. No one wants to look at your piss.
Sincerely,
Everyone Around You
P.S. The hue of your urine suggests you have an infection.
